STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
