I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
