Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
