You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
