Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
