omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
