wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
