he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
