dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
