i think i have herpe
just one?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
