DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
