Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hippo gnu deer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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