You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
