I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
