I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
