1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
