I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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