Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
