I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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