Jerry, you need to find god
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
