It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
