i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
