Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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