yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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