I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
