i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
