Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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