I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
