You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
