a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
