You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think my mom watched the whole time
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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