I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
did i just pee glitter
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
