New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
