it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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