I just saw a hot homeless man
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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