just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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