went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
