My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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