please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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