OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize