The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
