I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
