I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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