Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize