How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
