no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
