She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
