were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize