you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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