piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
