This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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