Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
