last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
