I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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