we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
