"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
