if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
