So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
