Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
