ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
