I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
