i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
