I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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