pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
